i am eating my banana-peanutbutter smoothy right now, i made it myself, i’ve been craving it way too many times lately. i could actually overdose on them. and it just made me think. a year ago i wouldn’t even try peanutbutter and banana together. peanutbutter &jelly was adventurous enough already. but alas, here i am, sipping it with the greatest delight. if it had not been for a smoothy bar on heampstead heath where i happened to take a walk few weaks ago i would not be richer with another addiction, read:banana&peanut butter smoothy. so it made me think. who the hell would have thought a year ago, that i will be living in the land of queens and shakespearian characters, in the most diverse city i’ve ever seen after nyc, off of a high street where you don’t even need to purchase a particular plant to get high-you just need to walk along the street taking big deep breaths…a beautiful place indeed. well i sure thought i would be living on the land of hamburgers…i was wrong. but that’s ok. it feels like i have been here forever. which tells me i am at the right place right now. for now. and i am saying it not proclaming it to the world out there but rather reassuring myself of the fact that it is the right thing. it’s odd to think about this. i wish i could go back where i set out from. back to the land of big plains and to the city of the big yellow church. i wanna do it and it is the last thing i wanna do. i wanna be able to say that’s the place to be and i know that is the last place i should be. oh how i love the paradox facts of life. is it the call of the ‘familiar’? the ‘convinient’? the ‘no challanges’? is it the urge of feeling rooted in spite of the fact that roots grow up-wards to heaven and not the other way round, not in the earth, the soil of an earthly place. only God knows what the answer is and i start to really grasp the idea of “you don’t need an answer to everything”. i have no answers to let’s see 90% of my questions or actual facts or fenomenas of my life. i honestly am trying to just “be” and go with the flow in a positive sense of the expression. laczo keeps telling me writing is a spiritual formation and one needs it primarily for personal growth. it is encouraging to hear this. thanks laczo. even now i feel like i got closer to something that is way beyond me. if that makes sense at all. Lord knows how many hours of my day is occupied with just thinking and pondering upon what “this” is. my life has so radically changed when i left hungary. but since traveling and going to places is actually my comfort zone i haven’t really realized how it affected me. and when the realization hit home…i paniced a little i guess. everything and i mean everything changed. except of me but i am not even sure that is true. i am still me. but i feel like something has been lost that will never come back again. it’s like frodo going back to hobbiton after this massive advanture. it’s the same, the shire he belongs in, but he can’t settle down again…he’s seen too much. in the other hand, anne-with-an-e shirley needed to leave avonle to realize she belonged there 
and being ripped of the things that defined you for so long is not a bad thing. it is scary and makes you jump but it makes place for something new to come. so just as banana&peanut butter smoothy couldn’t have entered my life in the former situation, something else is at hand that can only enter my life in this situation. thus i reckon i keep sipping my smoothy quite regularly to remind myself of the up-coming…
this past week was a week-off for me. hence i got sick and the weather immediately turned crappy. so instead of huge walks and laying on the grass in the park there was lots of walk to the bathroom and laying in the bed/coach. however, dvd-s come handy and watching them all day long doesn’t fill you with guilt-you are sick after all for pete’s sake what else could you do…?! and i was hungry for some artistic experience anyways. i thought i will try to list here the movies i watched and will try to condense my thoughts about the movies into one line each. it is a challenge believe me. but i will try so here we go:
The Graduate - impeccable acting+thoughtful directing=catharsis – everything (acting,words,music,visuals) works together and the result is an art piece where you don’t only see what’s visible. Funny Girl - Barbra Streisand is a genius, period. Blood Diamond-really makes you think about humankind in general, makes you wanna visit Africa and see it’s beauty, and makes me declare that DiCaprio is one of the biggest actors of his generation and i will keep loving him;-) Bourne trilogy- i watched with my sister thus i finally understand what it’s all about… The Queen- most interesting movie; Helen Mirren is truly amazing and i found the dynamic and pace of the movie very interesting. Barefoot in the Park- i wanna read the original play, ’cause Redford and Jane Fonda was not bad at all, but the film as a whole left me hanging somehow. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- proof of the fact that Jim Carey is a true actor, the whole cast is wonderful, again, it’s art in the purest sense and the theme of the movie is fascinating and thought provoking. To Kill a Mocking Bird- watching Gregory Peck building up a character is sheer joy. Little Miss Sunshine- everyone MUST see this movie, it just gets under your skin,funny as nothing else with a fantastic cast and fantastic visuals. Brokeback Mountain- one word was on my mind all through out the movie:beautiful-from the first moment to the last, incredible performances from all the characters, heartbreaking story and fabulous locations.
Well, that’s all for now. i also went to see King Lear yesterday but i will write about it later. until then, go watch some movies, good ones please:-) good night and don’t get sick.
The most recent exhibition at Saatchi Gallery. probably one of the coolest places in London. this one is works by middle-eastern artists. some of them are truly brilliant. here are some examples of it. / egy kis izelito a Saatchi Gallery legutobbi kiallitasabol. kozel-keleti muveszek munkai. nehanyuk egeszen brillians. ez a galeria az egyik legjobb hely Londonban.
Well Trudy, well Gigi, well Lidia, UNDER YOUR PRESSURE, i am here making a quick update yet again. I DO MISS MY COOLESTEST GROUP. did everyone here it? maybe i should put this as my facebook status, that would make it even more official…oh my oh my.
anyways, i know i haven’t been writing. and i know i know i always say i am trying to change and be consistent here. and i always wonder who the heck cares if i write or not…oh whatever. SO, i have been here in London for about 6 weeks now, this is my third week of work that i love. i live in Camden Town, being Mary Poppins to two lovely kids, talking about the weather a lot (already turning into british;-) , taking huge walks and soaking up this frantic diversity. for the first time of my life, finally, i do go to swim every week. i even went running in my new running shoes. i eman i actually bought myslef some running shoes. out of motivational reasons. i must be going crazy. i am determined to see Jude Law or Gwen Stefani at some point. if i keep jogging on Primrose Hill i eventually will see them. or Amy Winehouse ofr that matter. i live two streets down for her favorite pub. i am so very cool. i live in London. did i mention that? i go get some sleep now. and let everyone ponder upon my coolness for themselves. cheers mates!
I miss Pleasanton…
Stinking Steelers!! they were smooooooth….sort of. But that first Fitzgerald touchdown…WOW!! We all gained few more gray hair but it was worth it. / nyomorult Pittsburgh mar megint nyert…enyhen szolva szepen jatszottak. de azert az az elso Fitzgerald touchdown sem volt rossz. mindenki gazdagabb lett nehany osz hajszallal, de nagyon megerte
i am hoping to see things like this on Sunday:
i don’t know who is supposed to win and all, and i am rooting for both teams anyways i guess. but, i am excited. missing the game is not an option. / nem tudom, kinek kene nyernie, egyebkent is mindket csapatnak szurkolok altalaban. de mar alig varom. szoba sem johet, hogy lemaradjak az esemenyrol. es remelem sok liyen, a kepen lathato momentumban lesz reszunk. (amerikai futball liga donto egyebkent)
HP Pavilion
#1:indoor arena in San Jose / fedett arena San Jose-ban
#2: the very first laptop of my life that i actually own. i feel such a grown-up…thanks mom:) / a legelso laptop, ami tenyleg a sajatom. tisztara felnottnek erzem magam…koszi anyuci:-)
I went rock climbing yesterday, for the first time ever. It was great. There were moments when my arms were failing me and then I realized what a great feeling it is to be held by the rope. And having a person on the ground securing your rope. Coaching you if needed. Also, looking around and watching the more skilled ones, who act like Spiderman and are up on the top in no time and they even have time to goof around in the air… now that gives you perspective but at the same time you feel like “oh great…and i was proud of myself for learning to tie a proper knot on the rope…”
i wish life was a rock climbing gym. there is your rock, just follow the pink trail, each step is laid out before you, left foot after the right, grab the thingies, hang in there on the rope if you need some rest then go on. you will reach the top, just follow the steps…don’t spend too much time with watching others because the danger is there for you to instead of being encouraged, that one day you will be better too, you just get frustrated becasue you can’t do that.
so yeah the only issue here is that your trail is not laid out before you step by step, so sometimes you just hang in there, chilling on the rope, having no idea what so ever, where you should put your feet next, or what to grab a hold of. and yes, the rope is security, i just wonder how long can you just chill there waiting for the next step to show…
Tegnap elmentem sziklat maszni, eletemben eloszor. Nagyon kiraly volt. Azokban a pillanatokban, mikor a kezem felmondta a szolgalatot, rajottem, milyen nagyszeru erzes az, hogy tart a kotel. Es hogy ott van valaki a talajon, aki biztositja a kotelet. Aki instrukciot ad, ha szukseges. Amasik dolog meg, ha korbenezel, es latod az ugyesebbeket, akik ugy csinalnak, mintha ok lennenek Pokember, seperc alatt a toppon vannak es meg arra is van idejuk, hogy hulyeskedjenek egyet a levegoben…na ez adhat egy kis perspektivat, de ugyanakkor hirtelen tokhulyen erzed magad, hogy az elobb mennyire buszke voltal arra, hogy egy normalis csomot tudtal kotni a kotelen…
Neha azt kivanom, barcsak az elet olyan lenne, mint egy sziklamaszo terem. ott a sziklad, kovesd a rozsaszin jeleket, minden egyes lepes ott van elotted, bal lab utan a jobb, kapaszkodj, logj egy kicsit a kotelen ha pihenesre van szukseged, aztan menj tovabb. elered a tetejet, csak kovesd a lepeseket…ne idozz sokat a masok figyeleseben, mert ott a veszely, hogy ahelyett, hogy batoritana, egyszer majd te is ugyesebb leszel, csak frusztralni fog, hogy neked ez miert nem megy…
namost, az egyetlen felmerulo problema itt az, hogy a te osvenyed nincs eled kiteritve, lepesrol lepesre, ugyhogy neha csak ott logsz, elvagy a kotelen, es halvany fogalmad sincs, hova tedd a labadat, vagy hogy mibe kapaszkodj bele. es igen, a kotel biztonsagot jelent, en csak azon tunodom, hogy meddig lehet csak ugy ellenni ott a kotelen, mig a kovetkezo lepes megmutatkozik…
…in being utterly forgetful? is it just forgetfulness at all or is it some kind of brain deficiency i wonder…i tend to believe the latter-more and more. or maybe i just wish it was the latter ’cause that would provide an explanation. and you wouldn’t just be stuck with embarrassment 
anyways, whatever the explanation, i wanna know it. and i don’t want to go through these again:
incident #1: Luca is about to take off to San Diego from Columbus, Ohio. She already had trouble with her overweight luggage (what a surprise, will some people cry out loud) and now she is about to go through security check and id-check. as she is grabbing for her ticket she is asked to id herself. “oh sure let me grab it, it’s here in my pocket…or maybe in my purse…yes, it was here in this pocket…uhm, or this one…oorrr…maybe it just got stuck on the button of the bag…uuhhmmm…(Lord Jesus please have mercy on me here!)…can’t. find.it….let me see, the last time i had it in my hand was in…Philly…entering the irish pub (yes, we went to an irish pub)…and then…Leah took it and put it in her pursssse…OH. CRAP.!!! “- at this point she looked up to her friend who were standing nearby, on the phone, mouthing “Leah has it-it’s in her purse” to her…/sigh. so drivers license AND international drivers licence saved the day…after chatting to the very cute and very young officer and waiting on the superwiser and explaining and some more waiting-that took like a thousand years-in the meanwhile trying to ignore the 20 people who went through the check point AND security check already, also trying to ignore the fact that i have minutes to actually get on the flight (which-at this point- i am not even aware of since i don’t wear a watch)…should i also add they needed to look deeper in one of my handbags-because i am not waaaay to late already… so when i finally on my way to my gate, the cute officer with his long awaited coffee in his hand waived me away with a loud ‘good luck have fun” i hear my name on the loud speaker…”last call-immediately-gate35″. needless to say it was THE LAST gate. i ran. and ran. with three items on my back/hands. and it’s 7am. they almost closed the gate. i waived at the guy. he waived back. we were all very happy…
incident#2: 3 days later i went to San Jose to attend a birthday party. dress code: black-and white+ i am supposed to play something on my violin. i drove down there. took me an extra 15 minutes because of some “recalculation”…you gotta love mr.gps…so i am late, i need to change and i don`t even know this place too much. but i am thankful to be here so i am determined to have the greatest attitude about it. i get out, grab my bag with my clothes…then grab my violin…or…i WOULD grab the violin if it WAS ACTUALLY THERE…/oh my gosh Nikki will kill me. after a minute of recollecting myself i managed to go inside the coffee shop…wow, so many appetizers…ooohh, yeah, the appetizers i was supposed to bring…now i remember what i was gonna do before i left Pleasanton! uhm, ok, let’s just change here into nicer clothes , IT IS OK. except that my nice black shoes somehow are NOT in the bag…now at that point i started to laugh uncontrollably…end of story… OR IS IT?!?!?!?!
